My plan is to expand my definition of "manhood" so as to accommodate a few nurturing aspects which I have been running away from labeling them to be "weak" or "girly". I hope that it would bring me healing.
Here goes my plan.
1)It is ok to be beautiful. I can groom myself. I can be stylish. It is ok to look cute (that is what people say about me!).
2)It is ok to have feminine body features - I have fair and smooth skin like women. I have an almost hairless body, with no chest hair. I am accepting all these features as treasures. I don't have to be ashamed of them. I am proud of these precious gifts!
3)Being physically weak is acceptable - Here I am breaking free from the toxic "macho man" concept. Even if a stronger guy beats the crap our of me, it is ok. I am still a man.
4)It is ok to feel gender dysphoria - There is no need to be ashamed. If I feel dysphoric in the middle of an important meeting, let me be. I'll have a smile and move on!
5)It is ok to lose - Let me be defeated in a game, let someone win over me on an argument, let another guy have his way it is all acceptable. It does not reduce the stature of my manhood.
6)It is ok to be submissive at certain situations rather than fighting to protect my false ego.
7)Even if I am put in a humiliating situation, it is ok. If I can win there, good. If I can't still good.
8)I don't have to be the number one everywhere. It is ok to be the shadow others sometimes.
9)It is ok to be vulnerable - It is ok to seek help. It is ok to share my feelings. And I still retain my manhood.
10)Act based on my conscience, even if that means denying my ego interests.
11)Selflessness - Do more sacrifices for others, develop empathy, be kind, do things selflessly for others